I don't want to know.

Ask me anything   Annie
23 years old, LA/Orange County area

🙌 My motto lately.

🙌 My motto lately.

— 1 month ago
#idontknow 
Between Our Ears

When illness of the body is concerned,

The results are black and white.

Survival or death.

Then there is sickness of the mind,

Where the diseases are infinite and never-ending.

Screaming underwater,

It exists, but no one to know it is there.

No physical manifestation,

Until it is too late.

They try,

But often to no avail.

Trying to understand, they sort of know,

But never fully.

Waking up one day,

It doesn’t hurt as much.

But the demons are always there, faintly whispering,

Never quite gone.

An ongoing war,

There are highs, lows, everything in between.

And we’re all waiting for the armistice.

Are you one of them?

— 1 month ago
#mental illness  #depression 

'Keep on dreaming, don't stop breathing, fight those demons—sell your soul, not your whole self.'

— 2 months ago

I’m sort of sorry that I never use this anymore. It has quite a bit of documentation of the numerous ups and downs I’ve had over the last three years—though I wonder if my lack of posting/venting/lamenting things here is a sign of things. I wonder if it means that my life is on the up and up, and that being busier than I’ve ever been finally means I’m going to be okay and that I’m going to go somewhere.

Next semester will be my last semester of my undergraduate career. I will also be holding down an internship, my current job, and about 14 units. It’s going to be a good sized load, but I’m ecstatic. My workload keeps me from falling into my rut over and over and over again.

I’m at work currently, and this is the slowest day I’ve seen in my seven months here. Everyone is on vacation and I’m trying to be mildly productive (and only barely succeeding). Actually, the few of us who bothered to show up today have been loafing around and getting to really talk for the first time in ages. I was talking to one of my coworkers who I actually really enjoy getting to converse with, and we were talking about how nothing we ever planned on doing worked out. It was comforting and somehow amusing. It was a reminder that no matter how frustrating or infuriating some of the people I work with can be, they have or had trials and tribulations. They all had their own struggles; they have hopes and dreams, even if not the same ones all the time. No better and no worse than any other human being.

We’re all doing our best to exist and trying to enjoy it in the meantime. 

image

— 7 months ago
#work  #hopes  #dreams 

As I go back and read what I’ve (recently) written, I notice that some of those entries were from almost a year ago! But really, when thinking about them, it only feels like weeks ago that those things occurred. Erin going to school, upper division psych classes, my cousin’s recovery, more trials and tribulations with friends and guys. Almost nothing different.

I did, however, start my first real ‘grown up job’ almost three months ago. I work in accounting at my dad’s friend’s construction company. It’s a pretty far cry from anything psychiatric, but it’s money, and pretty decent money at that. I also bought a new (used) car with said grown up money. As exciting as this is and as genuinely grateful as I am, why does everything still seem so stagnant? Is it that many of my friends are moving and advancing themselves in ways I haven’t yet? Is it the lack of time I have to even breathe let alone think? Whatever the case, it continues to be one foot in front of the other.

And I think this, here, sums up your 20’s.

— 11 months ago
boucla:

Triangl bathers arrived! X

Ahh I love the triangl bikinis, but they are expensive and I’m not skinny enough for them yet.

boucla:

Triangl bathers arrived! X

Ahh I love the triangl bikinis, but they are expensive and I’m not skinny enough for them yet.

— 1 year ago with 31 notes